We do what they call discussion boards. We post our assignments there and other students have to choose two to reply to as a way of expanding our assignment. I'm sharing an assignment here but I am not giving credit to the person who wrote this because I don't think she would want me to.
This assignment was to be our opinion on how the church is handling human sexuality.
Here is my post:
Our discussion board forum this week is to be written considering the last two weeks’ worth of lessons regarding how the church is succeeding or failing when it comes to guiding singles on matters of sexuality and cohabitation. I am going to flat out say what I know regarding this issue. The church is failing entirely regarding singles of all ages. Our churches are not instructing children on what the Bible says about our bodies and relationships. The church is not talking to our teenagers about their bodies and relationships. The church is not talking to divorced people or widows and widowers. The church is silent.
Now when I see someone make such a statement, my thoughts are that this person needs to go to other churches. Just because this is their experience does not mean that this experience holds true everywhere. The problem is that our textbook agrees with my summation, as did our lecturers, as does our behavior here in the United States (and probably other developed countries). No one can tell the difference between a Christian single and a pagan single. Christians cohabitate together, have sex together, at nearly the same rate as non-Christians. What’s really crazy is that the Bible is clear on what we are to do with our sexuality:
“1 Corinthians 6:9-10
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints;
Matthew 5:28
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge
Galatians 5:19
Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality,
Romans 13:12-14
The night is almost gone, and the day is near Therefore let us lay aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.”
So many scriptures tell us clearly to abstain from sexual impurity. Yet for the most part, our churches are entirely silent. Singleness is not a disease that needs to be feared. I love what Pastor Chris Adams, from a lecture from week 4, Single Sexuality, said when he quoted something Stanley Hauerwas stated about how “singles are radical in their love for the church. Singles show that relationships and not just reproduction propagate the gospel.”
This same lecture, Single Sexuality, had some great ideas about how the church can begin to help by introducing the “theology of being single, the theology of being married, the theology of personhood” – why we are here on this earth. The way I see it Christians are here to be in a relationship with others so that we can tell them about Jesus Christ and what He has done for us. Churches, which is us, we need to spend more time using the scriptures so that we can tell people how God wants us to live fully in relationships with Him and with others. We need to talk about what it means to be a Christian. What it means to be a single in a relationship with Jesus, or to be in a marriage in a relationship with Jesus. None of this should be scary. I wish I would have known more about this 'theology of being a person' from the beginning of my life, upon my marriage and now upon my singleness.
HS 303 Single Sexuality lecture
Here is her reply to me:
I think you touched on a population in the church that is often not thought about in regards to teaching abstinence and cohabitation. That population would be those who have been married before and now are single. It seems that there is a majority of that group that believe the "rules" which are actually the Word of God do not apply to them anymore. I have a personal interest in this because my mother is in this category. She is in her late 50's. She has been single for over 20 years. She is now in a relationship and is sleeping with this man. It has been 4 years. There is no commitment. Her good friend has decided that she does not want to be married to her boyfriend but wants to continue having sex and possibly live together. I know both of these ladies were very involved in their churches. No one is touching the subject. No one is rebuking them. Your scripture references were more than enough proof of what God has to say on the matter. You are correct, the world should be able to differentiate between a Christian single and a non-Christian single. Unfortunately, sometimes there is no difference.
Here is what I replied to her:
Amanda, I'm sorry. I'm in the same age group as your Mother and I have done what she is doing. Two people gently awoke me from my blindness regarding my sin. One was my own daughter who simply asked me if what I was doing was considered Christian. She is not a Christian. She thinks that it is all white noise but she knew that I had considered myself a Christian. What she asked kept coming into my mind.
The other person was a co-worker who didn't know about my boyfriend. She just ran me through the 10 commandments like Ray, oh what is his name . . . Ray Comfort does when he is evangelizing. "Have you ever stolen something? I said NO. She said, "not even a pen?" Yes. "Have you ever lied?" Yes. Anyway, she opened my eyes to just how much I let slide. I started looking into Ray Comfort and his ministry and this sermon helped me see just how far away from Christ I was: https://www.livingwaters.com/hells-best-kept-secret/
Keep praying for your Mother. If you haven't asked her like my daughter did then maybe you could just ask her nicely and maybe have a discussion about it but don't let her sway you from your path. She'll probably defend it at first. Then just don't bring it up again. Sometimes the smallest, most innocent comment, speaks the loudest. And pray. Always pray. :) I'm praying for my daughter. She helped save me so I am pretty sure that the Holy Spirit is working within her. I just love God and all the ways He surrounds us with Himself.
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